Replica Heart

  i wish my heart was cold as stone 

so i wouldn't feel a thing.

i wish i didn't have this heart so i

wouldn't feel the sting of 

the rain beating down on our 

packed up car.

i wished my heart was cold as stone but

i don't want to be anything

like the replica 

behind me.

we silently hoot and holler as we cross the line 

but really our hearts are 

full of pain we can't define.

everything seemed normal as we drove away 

that night as if all of our confusions

would be brought to the light.

i'd be able to stand strong and still 

as we leave you behind and i wouldn't 

feel so all alone.
but i have to remind my myself that
the arrived conclusion will 
only become an illusion.
the farther away we drive from you 

the more intense your gaze seems to be.

intense, but subtle,

silent as eyes.

little did we know that this quiet, scary

battle is something that we'd be fighting 
for the rest of our lives. 

i watch her as she carries the load

across the desolate and barren road.

her shoulders are heavy with the burden

of the past, and that being the 

realization that she was in love 

with only a mask.
as i watch, she tells me without any words

that the object of your affection was 

only in your reflection.

i want to say that i knew that 

was coming, that i didn't fall for your act

but i haven't known anything else

and i dread to say that for a fact.

You may like to think that i hate you

so that the sympathies are in your favor,

but if im honest,
i hate the person in the mirror  
for helplessly loving.

nothing. 
but a 
replica heart.